The Trouble with Therapy
Most people who live life as a multiple system, who deal with some degree of multiplicity or plurality, have difficulties associated with being many in one body. It can take a long time to figure out how to negotiate life when there is more than one perspective to take into consideration.
Even those who can find an affordable therapist that claims to be trauma-informed often discover that professionals don't really understand multiples and their system's struggles.
Some therapists are overly focused on diagnostic labels and medication-based interventions.
Some therapists have "trauma-informed" in their description but do not truly know what this means or entails, so their approach is heavily based on behavior-modification. This can become one more relationship where the client has to perform in certain ways in order to feel approval and acceptance (or avoid rejection) from an authority figure.
Other therapists may be able to use the correct terminology when working with dissociative clients, but without any personal experience when it comes to multiplicity or fragmentation, their input is just not appropriate or helpful.
At times, there are inexperienced therapists who are willing to work with dissociative clients and learn as they go. However, the burden of having to educate someone who is supposed to be helping them is an added stressor that multiples should not have to take on if they don't want to.
Additionally, there are many religious "ministries" that employ laypersons who claim to be able to "heal" the issues associated with fragmentation and dissociation. But these ministries are not bound by any particular ethics or code of conduct, which puts clients in danger of being exploited and emotionally/spiritually abused.
Are there any good options?
Obviously, the most ideal option is to find a licensed therapist who has the experience and knowledge to help someone navigate their multiplicity in a compassionate and informed manner.
But this is a very rare occurrence.
Another option is peer support.
THE POWER OF PEER SUPPORT
Peer support is still a relatively new concept in the USA - at least, by that name. However, anyone who has ever utilized a sponsor in or out of an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting has experienced peer support. The concept is very similar.
Some of the best people to help someone with a specific experience are those who have already been through the same thing. This, in a nutshell, is the idea behind peer support. Those who have successfully found their way through a foreign country, and become familiar with it, are some of the best tour guides.
I am here to help you find your way.
Let's get a sense of where you are in your journey, and help you get where you want to be.
Who I Am
My name is Jade Miller. (she/her/hers or they/them)
I was a trauma blogger at Thoughts From J8 from 2014-2018. During that time, I wrote a few books and also made a lot of connections with people who experience life as more than one sharing the same body.
"My experience with Jade is that she knows lots about multiplicity. More than the average therapist by far!! Jade has been invaluable and dialing in certain aspects of how a newly aware multiple can begin to get a handle on things. For example she had me look at several things early on...That really sped up my understanding. My experience with therapist is that they will softly wade into areas...and you barely feel like you’re making progress.
Jade is decisive - without being Too Direct. She’ll say “this sounds like X, check it out” but qualify that this is her “best guess” - she’s usually right.
I have worked on several tricks to remain grounded BEFORE Grasping my Multiplicity. I haven’t had too many flashbacks (yet) that didn’t resolve within a few weeks/months.
Overall the thing(s)I like about Jade are:
- She isn’t a therapist, she offers her take / intuition without glossy ideas or platitudes.
- Her willingness to be wrong...she’s always saying “Nobody really knows/Every system is different” Jade offers things to “try” in a very open handed way. She’s not invested in being “right” like a lot of Therapists tend to be.
- You’ll cover a fair bit of ground - “trying/investigating things” with Jade’s (she’s willing to be wrong) suggestions. She gets you to explore different strategies.
These “Direct - Try This” approaches means she may come off as Too Direct, but I simply see it as her Analytical style - again, she’s willing to be wrong, but I’d say steers things effectively 4 out of 5 times. The few times, what she’s suggested for me wasn’t a good fit was still good ground to cover.
I would say you’ll get further spending a few hundred dollars with Jade than a few thousand with a regular therapist, because Jade THINKS LIKE A PERSON WITH DID! Most Therapists are “feeling around” as a Singlet - trying to interpret things in a layered fashion.
Jade knows the layers - backwards and forwards.
The money I’ve spent on Jade has been (by far) the best value for getting the hang of being new to Plurality." --M.B.
Peer support with Jade is amazing, she's able to reach my inner kids and connect with them in a way that no one has. It's very healing." --C.L.