Updated: May 6
This is the question I hear most often in my peer support. From all systems, all members, all ages and stages of humanity. The voice of a thousand angels, the cry of a thousand survivors who have been through unfair, unheard, unwitnessed tragedies. There are so many questions that could be asked. But yet everyone seems to come back to this one.
"What is wrong with me?"
No matter the problem or conflict, no matter what the situation is, when things go wrong, when things have gone wrong, we assume the problem is with us.
I do it too... although (I would hope) a little less often than I used to.
In some ways, at least to my ears, the question is a catch-all for more specific questions that are too painful (or maybe less accessible) to ask:
Why am I unheard?
Why am I unseen?
Why am I unattended?
Why am I unavenged?
Why am I uncared for?
Why am I unneeded?
Why am I unloved?
Friends, multiples, plurals, parts, inside people, hosts, littles, adults, protectors, survivors... hear me:
There is nothing wrong with you. Wrong was done to you.
The wrong is not with you; it is not in you. It was and is and always has been with the people who did wrong to you.